Sex and Murder League 5
review by Grace X
You're not going to see the "Golden Gun"
very often in my reviews. It's going to be
reserved for the very few flicks that go beyond
perfect to me...and I'm hard to please. Trust me
on this. (I've been easy on Chris so far, picking
movies to review that I like, but that won't last
forever). But enough digression. This movie
gets the gold, and if you disagree, well,
screw you (lol...just kidding, you're allowed
to disagree with me...I'll just have to shoot you,
Okay, this review has history. First of all, thank you to Othello for letting me have this movie after he
had already reviewed it. That was gentlemanly, 'cause I pestered him mercilessly to let me do it, and he
could have strangled me instead of giving in. (kiss kiss, Professor O)
Second, I have done roleplay based on the Sex and Murder League, and Mother Mary was I ever into
it. I just love playing an assassin who gets wet for killing, then gets killed in the sexiest way possible.
Finally I have an evil little writer's crush on Astrokill (he did the script) who writes about femme fatales
that are exactly my own murderous fantasy.
I am flat out in love with the Sex and Murder League concept, which has male and female assassins
going after each other, with the highlight of their bad little lives being to murder an opponent at the
height of sex.
So with all that, I was set up to either love or hate this movie. Let's face it, those are standards that set
the expectation bar pretty fucking high.
Well, I told you already. I loved it.
So meet Zayda. She is a League Queen
with so much attitude that I bet she
can kill Knights just by squinting her
eyes at them. She is awfully hot in that
slinky black dress and red high heels,
and ooh, that dagger medallion. I want
one of those. Seriously. Chris, where
did you get those beautiful bits of
killer jewelry? (All the members of the
Sex and Murder League have them, and
I want mine).
Zayda has offed a bystander while taking down a Knight, and that's frowned upon (bad publicity?) But
what the hell does she care? Someone gets in her way, she blows them away.
Naturally, this arrogance results in a Knight paying her a little visit to show her what attitude will get
you. He breaks into her apartment while she is stripping down at the end of the day (some HOT black
lingerie, Zayda), but whoops! She's got a fine serious gun and promptly gets the drop on him.
You know what comes next, don't you, Knight? Um hm, what puts the S in the S&M (love those initials,
they make me think of something...) League. She makes him lie down and blows him while giving him
verbal abuse every minute her mouth isn't full, then mounts up and gives herself a hot ride on his
cock and mouth, working up to an orgasmic frenzy where she smothers him with her pussy. Xenia
Onatopp, eat your heart out.
So he dies, or she thinks he does. She's a might worn out from these exertions, and takes some
post-murder, post-coital relaxation, dozing in her chair. And yep, the sneaky bastard wasn't dead after
all. He comes up behind her with an electric cord garrote, and oh, my sweet lord, this gal is going to
Lordamighty. She thrashes off her red heels and squirms so hard the cushions go out from under her,
and Zayda is beyond good at sexy strangles. Mouth, eyes...she twists inside out, to no avail. Finally she
slumps over dead, and ends up half on the floor and half propped on the flung out chair cushions.
If you've read any of my reviews, you know I live for the scenes where the evil bitch gets her dead
body screwed. That's the fantasy that gives me every last one of my own orgasms. And one look at the
positions of these two above will let you know just how hot a necro-fuck this is.
I'm going to confess to the elephant in the room here...does anyone really not masturbate to a movie
as good as this? I do. Over and over and over.
Astrokill, you are my "knight" in shining black armor. Chris, you are my Hitchcock and whoever the hell
directs the best Bond bad girls.
Knight takes Queen.
GRACE X's RATING: Comments for Grace X?
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with a Golden Gun
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